Monday, February 25, 2008

Revolution

The following is an excerpt from Revolution, by George Barna, renowned pollster. While I can't honestly say that I fit this description 100%, it describes where I/we are at in our journey of faith. Some of you are struggling with the why's and how's of faith and spirituality, and you are wondering why you don't "fit in". Some of you out there have "peculiar" friends, and you don't understand whats going on with them. Before you castigate them and shun them for "not going to church", backsliding or whatever the excuse is, consider picking up a copy of Barna's book - it may help to shed some light on the situation.



I am a Revolutionary in the service of God Almighty. My life is not my own; I exist as a free person but have voluntarily become a slave to God. My role on earth is to live as a Revolutionary, committed to love, holiness, and advancing God's Kingdom. My life is not about me and my natural desires; it is all about knowing, loving, and serving God with all my heart, mind, and soul. Therefore, I acknowledge the following:
- I am a sinner; broken by my disobedience but restored by Jesus Christ in order to participate in good works that please God's eyes, and the Holy Spirit leads me toward greater holiness.
- God created me for His purposes. My desire as a Revolutionary is to fulfill those ends, and those ends alone. When I get out of bed each day, I do so for one purpose: to love, obey, and serve God and His people.
- Every breath I take is a declaration of war against Satan and a commitment to opposing him.
- God does not need me to fight His fight, but He invites me to allow Him to fight through me. It is my privilege to serve Him in that manner. I anticipate and will gladly endure various hardships as I serve; for this is the price of participation in winning the spiritual war.
- I do not need to save the world; Jesus Christ has already done that. I cannot transform the world, but I can allow God to use me to transform some part of it.
- My commitment to the Revolution of faith is sealed by my complete surrender to God's ways and His will. I will gratefully do what He asks of me simply because He loves me enough to ask. I gain my security, success, and significance through my surrender to Him.
- I am not called to attend or join a church. I am called to BE the Church.
- Worship is not an event I attend or a process I observe; it is the lifestyle I lead.
- I do not give away 10 percent of my resources. I surrender100 percent.
- God has given me natural abilities and supernatural abilities, all intended to advance His Kingdom. I will deploy those abilities for that purpose.
- The proof of my status as a Revolutionary is the love I show to God and people.
- There is strength in relationships; I am bound at a heart and soul level to other Revolutionaries, and I will bless believers whenever I have the chance.
- To achieve victory in the spiritual war in which we are immersed, there is nothing I must accomplish; I must simply follow Christ with everything I have.
- There is no greater calling than to know and serve God.
- The world is desperately seeking meaning and purpose. I will respond to that need with the Good News and meaningful service.
- Absolute moral and spiritual truth exists, is knowable, and is intended for my life; its is accessible through the Bible.
- I want nothing more that to hear God say to me, "Well done, My good and faithful servant."

Thank you, Lord God, for loving me, for saving me, for refining me, for blessing me, and for including me in the work of your Kingdom. My life is Yours to use as You please. I love You.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Good stuff happening!

    I know its been a while, and there is no excuse.  Unfortunately, this is not going to be part of the "saga", rather just a quick update on what is happening.  But then....maybe this IS part of the saga.
    Life here is more or less the same.  Patrols, eat, sleep...repeat.  We have been able to get to know a few of the people in our AO (Area of Operation), most of them teenager boys.  Some of them are beginning to speak a bit of English, so it is fun to talk to them.  Personally, I'm not able to have as much contact as I would like, as I sit in a gunners turret the whole time, but I am still able to interact with a few of them.  While there are still bad people around, the locals seem to be responding to postive pressure (and a few contract dollars) by cleaning up the area and making it safer.  For  them, and for us.
    Inside the wire, I have had the priviledge of facilitating two small groups that have the potential to be life changing.  The first one is about sanctification, righteousness, and just plain getting rid of the stuff in our lives that shouldn't be there.  Each one of the three of us have been in the "hot seat", dealing with the stuff that the Holy Spirit indicates needs to go.  It is not a comfortable place to be, but it is so freeing.  The second group is more recent, but also deals with freedom - FINANCIAL.  About six of us started going thru Dave Ramseys Financial Peace University.  Helen and I went thru the series several years ago, but as I sat thru the first session, I was convicted.  I know this stuff, and God has blessed us beyond measure, but I am not using it to its potential.  So, here I am - back in the hot-seat, repenting for not being a faithful servant and good steward.  Although, Dave is a Christian, and uses scripture as a basis for a lot of his teaching, he is NOT a bible-thumper, which would turn off most of the guys here.  Being over here with quite a few financial benefits, this is a great opportunity for all of us, and our families, to get established in healthy financial habits.  I am hoping that I will be able to present it to all of the guys in my patrol set, as it is such a vital part of life, and most of us DON'T HAVE A CLUE!!!

    That's it for now, but I hope to get back to the "other" stuff soon.

Monday, October 8, 2007

The Day Before the "First Day of the Rest of My Life"

The first installment of the continuing saga of how I got to be where I am right now.


Papa…give me the words to write. May they be a witness and encouragement to others. It’s all about You – nothing about me.


September 11, 2001

America was riveted to televisions and radios after news came that would change our lives forever. We had been attacked on our own soil!! Many who had tuned in after the first plane crashed, watched in horror as a second airliner, full of innocent passengers and jet fuel slammed into the second tower.

Halfway across the country it was a cool fall morning with a clear, deep blue sky. On my way to work, I turned the radio on in time to hear that a plane had just plunged into the World Trade Center…minutes late - a second plane. I was shocked and angered at the senselessness of it all.

I was on my way to MOPS Steering that day...my truck radio was off...it was a rushed morning, it always is... I remember the sky being brilliant blue, beautiful sunshine... I remember my friend jumping out of her vehicle with tears running down her face as she stammered out the news. I thought, surely, this is not happening. For the next few days, it was eerie not to see the white streaks in the blue sky as all the air traffic was grounded.


Less than one month later, on October 8th, our son Jonathan was born. Several days later I had the opportunity to go to a seminar on health. Helen gave her permission and I left for several days.

My mom was visiting us at that time, so there was no reason for Al not to go, and now I am sure that it was in our Father's plans also. But back then, I allowed myself to feel angry and abandoned...without a real reason.

Having been certified in massage therapy and similar modalities of helping people, I thought that this would be some more good information to pass on to my clients. Little did I know that Father was going to change my life. The speaker talked about how our thought lives and spiritual being affects our physical lives. I didn’t think that I had and of the problems that he was talking about – I’ve always been very healthy. Then he began to describe the thoughts from deep inside me. Things I had never even identified. As he continued to address different issues, I began to compile a list of things to deal with. At the end of the weekend, we had an opportunity to do ministry and deal with those issues. I joined up with an older couple and we spent about ten minutes each praying, confessing and repenting of these things. There was no huge revelation, no bolt of lightning right then, but by the time I got home. I had a sense of peace that I had never experienced before.


I walked into my bedroom in the early hours of the morning and my wife instantly knew that something was different.

I remember seeing Alan walk in to the house, and thinking, "He looks ... so different... so free…so confident, I wonder what happened."

The next several months were the most challenging of our marriage. Previously we had been on the same page about everything, now something was happening to me, and I was having a hard time trying to describe it to her.

I saw freedom in Al that was not there before, the strength, a new spark in his eyes. He tried explaining to me what happened during that weekend, but he might as well have been speaking in Chinese, and although I AM bilingual, Chinese is not on my resume. Something was stirring up deep within me, resenting the change... even though he became everything I ever wanted him to be, now it made me angry. Who does he think he is? What in the world is he talking about? Can he just please give me some concrete information, some steps, principles, something? I wanted what he had, yet felt resentful that he so easily got it.

Slowly, as Father worked on me, I was able to share with Helen what I was learning, although it was so difficult to put into words what I was experiencing.

After a couple of months of resentment, my desire for freedom became stronger than the resentment. I sneaked out a book Al brought back from the seminar (it basically explains confession and repentance as main ingredients to deliverance from "issues" of life) and started reading it on my own. What followed, changed our lives forever. I am just so grateful that Al had the patience and the love to stay up with me night after night as we tearfully and prayerfully went through many issues and faced the enemy head on, empowered by what Jesus have done for us on the cross. For it is for freedom that He made us free, yet here I was, a child of God, choosing the bondage of fear, bitterness, self-hatred.... No more.

In May of 2002, we drove down to GA with some friends to hear some more from this ministry. Father in His mercy brought the two of us back to the same page.


Since childhood I had struggled with an addiction to pornography. I used it to facilitate physical habits that go “hand-in-hand” with such material. The enemy held this over me in much shame and condemnation. As a teen, I thought that once I got married, all those issues would be done with. After all, now I would have a wife to fulfill all my “needs”. Well, it doesn’t work that way. I found myself in the same old patterns of destruction. I began to realize that my “needs” weren’t what I thought they were.


For most of my life I had not accepted the person that God had created me to be – in fact, I hated me. Some of the things that went thru my head: “I am such a loser!” “Why even try – I am just going to fail.” “I am nothing, and I will never amount to anything.” I could go on. I didn’t like being around people. I was terrified of getting up in front of a crowd, and don’t even think about asking me to pray in front of other people. I was overly shy, and couldn’t look people in the eyes when I talked to them. Getting up the nerve to talk to Helen on a personal level was torture. “She will reject me.” “She is too good for me.” “She thinks I am an idiot…and I am.” (Notice the common thread running through all these thoughts…..I…Me) Thank God for His grace in giving me enough courage to at least ask – thankfully she said yes……….finally.

Well, that's another story for another time. Maybe it should be our next post. One day we should write a book about it. :-) Back to the issues Al has described...I was struggling with the same thing... hearing the same voice in my head. I distinctly remember the time in Russia, when I was standing in front of the mirror in my room, and thinking, "You are as ugly as ever! I hate you!"-- to my reflection. Although I’d struggled with self-hatred before too, somehow that was a very memorable moment (I was about 17) and after it I was never the same. There was a tension in all of my relationships, and no matter how hard I tried to “accept myself”, it just never worked. The thoughts of condemnation would come back, stronger every time after I would indulge myself in my misery of self-hatred.


My “need” was for love, and although there were many people around me who loved me, I couldn’t accept it, and in fact often rejected it. Hence, my thoughts became self-fulfilling prophecies. My inability to accept love greatly hindered my relationship with my heavenly Father the true source of pure love. My need for love was temporarily satiated by my chemical addiction to self gratification, but that left me tortured by guilt and feeling even worse about myself. That then required to be alleviated….it was a vicious cycle.

In that 10 minutes of prayer and repentance six months prior, I rejected that way of thinking and took authority over that area of my life in the name of Yeshua the Messiah. Being who He is, He delivered me from the strongholds and bondage that held me prisoner for 20+years of my life. Thank you, Papa.

Almost immediately I noticed that the “need” had dissipated if not disappeared completely. While living in the culture we do, it is difficult to avoid things that previously would have caused me much difficulty. But when something slips under the radar, I find that, yes, I see it, but I am not looking at it. Just as Job said – “I have made a covenant with my eyes; why then should I look upon a young woman?” 31:1.

It took me a trip to a ministry in GA to be made free from my addiction to self-hatred. After two weeks of teaching and about an hour of personal ministry, when I confessed and repented and was prayed for, and spoken the words of truth over, I walked out of that auditorium a free woman at last. And finally, Al and I were on the same page…again!


For our whole marriage, my wife (and me as well) had wanted me to be the spiritual leader in our family, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t much for praying, especially out loud, and didn’t take an active role in teaching, training and leading my family. She would bring home Bible Study books and encourage me to do them with her, trying to get the ball rolling. Her intentions were good, but in reality it had little positive effect. In fact deep down, I resented the fact that she was so much more spiritual than I was. Oh, I knew the answers in my head, but I had never experienced them in my heart. But that all started to change. God’s word became alive. I poured myself into it and it into me. Things became real - I experienced them for myself. It started to become heart understanding instead of head knowledge.

I just think it's so funny, that I knew in my head that I wanted my husband to be in agreement with Father's design -- king and priest of the household. And yet, instead of releasing him into that role, I manipulated him instead. Now, to be fair, I never saw it that way. I thought, well, he just needs a little push here and there. So, I'll "help him out." Yet, I watched how instead it turned him off and forced him to retreat away from me.

It does take two. It takes him to lead and me to follow. Now, I am no doormat, don't get me wrong. Our decisions are made in togetherness and after long consideration and prayer. It is so exciting to be on the other side of this experience and live in the freedom that God has designed for us to have when we fulfill the roles He prescribes for us: the head of every woman is the man, the head of every man is Christ, the head of Christ is the Father. Such a huge burden was off my shoulders... a burden I was never intended to bear. The experience can be equaled to that of jumping of a cliff without any support or parachute, or a promise of a soft landing, hoping that somehow…somebody…somewhere will catch me... And guess what? Father does. He caught me in His arms and did not allowed me to fall and be crushed. Instead, I get to walk in freedom.



Has it been a walk in the park? No! Especially on this deployment. Pornography is prevalent, and the temptation to look is higher than ever, but the “need” to fulfill is not there.

Yes, this deployment is something else. It has brought out so many more "exciting" things to deal with. One of them for me, was idolatry. It seems that I constantly elevate a human into a position that only my Heavenly Father should occupy. But that's probably another story for another time.




We would love to hear your comments and questions – please feel free to contact us. Share what Father is doing in you life.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Recent IM with my brother.

Al says:
sup homey
Paul says:
working
Paul says:
YES!!!
Al says:
whatever
Paul says:
What up there
Al says:
trying to sleep but the fleas are torturing me
Paul says:
Have you named them yet??
Al says:
I thought about it, but am too delirious to come up with anything pithy
Paul says:
NICE - pithy
Paul says:
I like the usage
Al says:
Yes I just used the word pithy
Paul says:
Do you want me to send you something to deal with them - perhaps a flea and tick collar??
Al says:
I've thought about it, put one around each wrist and ankle
Al says:
and around my neck of course
Paul says:
Seriously, can you get something?? If not I'd try and get something here.
Al says:
I wonder if I should start taking heartworm pills
Paul says:
There are natural remedies - Black Walnut and....I can't remember the other one.
Paul says:
I give them to Hudson
Al says:
garlic might work - fleas hate garlic
Al says:
or was it vampires
Al says:
well either way maybe I should find some garlic - they both suck blood
Paul says:
I suppose it makes sense that fleas hate vampires
Al says:
I dont know - professional courtesy and all
Al says:
and vampires sure aren't going to have garlic on them
Paul says:
Wow, you are delusional.
Al says:
thanks, it means a lot coming from you

Monday, September 17, 2007

News From the Middle East

Just a quick update on Al... He is now in place in Baghdad... He doesn't always know what he can tell about his mission and/or his whereabouts. I got a chance to talk to him on Sunday for almost two hours. That was heavenly! His mission is not one of great danger, not right now anyway, which is FINE BY ME! :) But of course we all know how fast things change in the US Army. He is in a guard tower which proves to be uneventful, thankfully. They aren't situated in their permanent quarters yet, so hopefully, his communications will pick up as soon as he is more settled. The address on this blog is the correct one... and I know he would love to hear from you.

He did mention that Father is gently digging into some areas of his life and it is good. It may be painful to go through a challenging time, but it is good to grow, which is exactly what is happening, according to him. So keep praying for him, please.

On the family front, it is just so surreal to know that OUR AL is in Iraq, right now. Somehow news aren't just news anymore when you hear about something that's happening there. I find myself praying a hundred times harder for the politicians to make the right decision -- this is personal now. It's been interesting to think that he is now in the place of such historical and spiritual importance... hard to explain I guess.
Helen for Liberator

Thursday, August 30, 2007

MacGyver??



I am here in Kuwait, dealing with the heat, cold, blowing sand and Chuck Norris in all the port-a-johns. (You military people know what I'm talking about.) We had our first trip outside the wire the other day and got to see the sights - miles and miles of desert. A bunch of camels crossed the road in the middle of our convoy. The roads are plowed in the sand from point A to point B - similar to back home in the winter on the lakes. The desert is hauntingly beautiful. Flat with scrub vegetation. Camels and sheep being herded around by Bedouins. The sunrises and sunsets are spectacular, but don't blink or you will miss them. The sun seems to rise and set in seconds. Occasionally a formation of Blackhawks will fly by in the distance, to or from another spot in the sandbox.

Back to the title. Several days ago my laptop started acting up. The power cord wasn't connecting very well and the battery was losing its charge. Finally it quit all together. After diagnosing the problem to a poor connection on the motherboard, I proceeded to completely dismantle my computer with a Gerber (the new Swiss Army Knife) and a tiny screwdriver. Once everything was apart, I saw that my earlier prediction was correct and that there was indeed a loose solder joint where the power plug connects to the board. Now all I needed to do was heat up my soldering iron and melt it back into position. But alas, I had mailed it on ahead to Iraq. What would my childhood hero do? Enter a straightened out staple and some super-glue. Running the spring loaded wire between three posts, I glued it into place. I now have a fully functioning and charging laptop.

Yes... I AM A GEEK!! Hey, If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.

Keep your skates sharp, your laces tight, and your stick on the ice,

Liberator...out